Angel in hell
by sphinxofthenile
Summary: It was purely by chance that the Turk ran into the child. Sometimes a brief meeting can change lives... Is it for the worse or the better? Characters are Reno and Kadaj. RenoxKadaj in later chapters. NOW COMPLETE.
1. Angel in hell

**Disclaimer:** I do not own, Square Enix does. The lucky, lucky guys... Plus I don't own the song Prelude 12/21 by AFI that served as a prompt for this story.

Written for Mandolina Lightrobber.

* * *

_"This is what I thought,  
I thought you need me,  
This is what I thought so think me naïve,  
I promise you a heart you'd promise to keep,  
Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep."_

The Nibelheim labs were probably the last place on Gaia any sane person wanted to be, and yet there I was, wandering around aimlessly at such a damn late hour and waiting for the President to show up after the 'Lab-tour', so I can finally fly us home and get wasted with Rude in one of the cozier bars of Midgar.

I still couldn't understand why for godssake did Tseng choose me for the job. Me, who can't sit straight for five seconds and needs a cigarette at least every half an hour! Of course you don't smoke in the lab of that sickfuck Hojo unless you want things worse then your head being ripped off happening to you, and I currently just wasn't in the mood for that.

The rooms were filled with all kinds of glass and metal equipment, microscopes, Bunsen-burners, incubation chambers and tonns of other stuff I didn't even want to know what they were used for. At least I didn't have to take the tour as well. The place could freak me out even without the knowledge of what exactly was going on there.

Now, mind you, I've killed more people than I could count on the hands of the four of us Turks, but the Prof had always been known to be demented and I had the dubious honor of witnessing direct proof to that.

Just as I was leaving behind another chamber with a faintly glowing green tube in the middle with a sickeningly human-like silhouette floating inside I chose not to look at, I caught a glimpse of a small shadow disappearing at the nearest corner.

Tapping my EMR carelessly on my shoulder, I quickly turned the corner to see who was there, and my eyes widened with shock. Illuminated by the bright, artificial light I saw a child so beautiful it took my breath away.

He couldn't have been more than three years old with stunning platinum blonde hair, and I was utterly surprised that they let such a young one roam around alone at such a place so late in the night.

„Hey, kid! What are you doing here?"

„I live here." He looked up at me innocently with huge, long-lashed eyes, and I gulped audibly as I stared into eerie mako-green, cat-like irises. Suddenly I realised that his hair wasn't blonde, but indeed pure silver, falling back from his face to reveal the perfection of a porcelain doll.

I felt like my ribs were just about to smash my heart.

„Who are you?" I managed to choke out.

„The Professor calls me Subject!" He chirped, then looking around he leaned closer, a small smile highlighting the mischief in his eyes.

„But you know, I have another name. Wanna hear it?"

I just nodded, still stunned by how he resembled…

His silvery laughter was perhaps the most beautiful sound I've ever heard.

„I'm no-ot tell-ing, I'm no-ot tell-ing!" He chanted with innocent mockery, and he laughed again in that endearing, tinkling way only children can.

I let out a sigh and searched my pockets for the last chocolate bar I knew I had somewhere, putting on my most charming smile. Me, willingly sacrificing a chocolate bar! Dear God. But for some unfathomable reason, I just_ had_ to know.

„Look kid. If you tell me, I'll give it to you." I offered him the sweet.

„What's that?" He eyed it suspiciously. My jaws dropped.

„Don't tell me you've never seen…" Oh, crap. Of course he's never got his little hands on anything like that. It seemed cruel even to me, and trust me when I say my childhood wasn't exactly a bed of roses either.

„Here." I opened the wrapping for him. „Try it."

For a moment it seemed he would refuse. The next he was busy munching the chocolate like a greedy little chipmunk. I couldn't help but laugh. I reached out to ruffle his hair, but he jumped back with amazing speed.

Damn, the kid had reflexes. And that suspicious look was back on his face.

I instinctively held up my hands and made sure I looked straight into his eyes as I apologised. The tension slowly left his small body, and soon he was smiling again.

In my chest something ached. I wanted to take him by the hand and lead him outside, to take him away from this horrid place, this madness.

Then I did something I thought impossible.

I slowly leaned closer not to scare him, and cautiously put my arms around his fragile little form. I, Reno of the Turks was hugging a kid! Willingly and on my own incentive. Scandalous.

But when I felt his thin arms finally sneaking around my neck and tugging at my hair, I suddenly felt an odd cozy warmness and relief that I hadn't been pushed away. I gently tightened my embrace, then reluctantly let go.

„That was good! Funny, but good." The little one giggled and gave me a radiant smile. „What's your name?"

„Reno."

„I think I like you, Reno."

I was taken aback by such childlike honesty and innocence. I felt something bitter in my throat, I wanted to shout at him not to like me, not to trust me or anyone, guidelines I had a hard time learning on the streets, but I just forced out a faint smile.

„I think I like you too, kid."

„Kadaj."

„Sorry?"

„My name is Kadaj." He was smiling again with that lively, mischievous light to his eyes, such a beautiful and somehow heartbreaking sight…

Then he just yawned and rubbed his eyes with that tiny fist of his.

„Well, I guess you should be going back to bed, Kadaj. It's getting really late."

„Okay." He blinked sleepily. „This is my room."

He pointed at the nearest one in the long line of alike white doors. I opened it and motioned for him to get inside, which he did.

„I share it with my brothers, but they came for them again earlier tonight." He jabbered, and my stomach started churning. So there were others? Other kids at the non-existent mercy of that bastard Hojo? I didn't dare to imagine what might be happening to them right now.

„Will you come to play again tomorrow?" He asked between two yawns as I tucked him into bed. I looked into those hopeful emerald eyes, the bitterness suddenly back in my throat as I thought about the flight home that awaited me and that didn't seem quite as tempting as just an hour before.

I wanted to explain him why it was impossible for me to come back, but when I opened my mouth to speak, the words that came out had nothing to do with my intentions.

„Of course I'll come back."

Hearing it he smiled faintly, contentedly, then his eyes fell closed and he drifted away to sleep. I brushed a silky silver strand out of his face, then left silently, careful not to wake him.

When the chopper took off, it felt like I was carrying a goddamn heap of rocks in my chest.

* * *

**A/N:** So, how was it? Please review! Nice feedback encourages me to write more. 


	2. Incurable

**Disclaimer:** I do not own FF7 in general and the boys in particular, and I definitely don't own the song "The Boy Who Destroyed the World" by AFI. No monetary gain is made, blah blah blah.

**A/N:** Thanks everyone for your support! Here is the promised sequel to Angel in Hell, and if you my dear readers keep being so kind and continue to write me such lovely reviews, it'll definitely help me write that Part 3 and 4 that is on my mind right now!

HERE WILL BE M/M RELATIONSHIP! Don't like, don't read. You've been warned.

* * *

"Once there was boy who had a vibrant glow,  
but as it goes, someone took it from him.  
One day through the rain I heard him meekly moan, he said  
"Will you wrap your arms around me, as I'm falling?"

The first thing I learned was how his laughter had changed. The beautiful sound of tiny silver bells was replaced by something malicious and strangely hollow.

I barely had the time to realise what was happening and I found myself in the middle of a fight, and although I gave my best, it wasn't long before I fell to the floor. Defeated and fighting for every breath, my eyes never leaving him.

He was still breathtaking.

His hair was longer, his face still perfect like that of a doll, but his features lost their childlike softness, the body not frail and small anymore, but strong and graceful. Hips swaying with every step in the enticing way proud felines walk, knowing they have no enemy to fear under the sun.

But it were still his eyes that changed the most. I remembered how they used to be, clear, curious, innocent. Now there was nothing else in them but obsession. Destructive, demented, cruel obsession burning in eerie green and cold blue, azure fading into emerald.

My wounds hurt like hell, but seeing him like this hurt even more. What had happened to the sweet child I had kept treasured in my memories? This beautiful young man was a stranger, even worse, an enemy.

Tortured. Twisted. Tainted.

I shook my head as my vision started to blur, and saw him throwing two ID cards to the ground.

Tseng and Elena.

„Sonofabich." I hissed, but the glance he shot me silenced my voice like he had stepped on my throat with those heavy boots. It was so full of hate his mako eyes seemed to be aglow with it, and I knew that unlike me, he hadn't forgot a thing.

It were those eyes boring into me I saw last before my consciousness slipped away from me.

ooOoOoo

Once more, we were back to that damn forest, this time looking for the Chocobohead to make sure he was all right and hadn't gotten himself killed by the silver-haired trio. Rude's voice was quiet on the other end of the phone, and I felt painfully exposed and alone.

I just knew splitting up wasn't a good idea even before I heard the voice.

„Haven't you learned anything?" I gripped my EMR and spun around to face him, every muscle ready to fight.

But he just stood there, leaning casually to a whitely glowing tree and watching with those perceptive cat-like eyes. Arms folded over his chest, he deceptively seemed to be relaxing, but his words came out as whiplashes.

„Liar. Coward. Two-tongued sleuth."

The worst thing was that he had every right to talk to me like that. Have I not betrayed his trust in me? But I kill people for a living, I breach others confidence in me. I am a Turk.

But then why did it hurt so much?

„Kadaj…"

„Reno."

My voice was strange to my own ears, it was so soft, almost pleading. His voice was full of hatred.

I knew he could've killed me if he wanted. I've fought him at Healin. He could've killed me back then too. But he just stood there, leaning to the tree and looking away, his arms now hanging helplessly at his sides.

Why didn't he move to fight me?

My hand was still clutching my EMR, my senses on high alert, and he was just staring off into space like some monstrously beautiful statue. When he finally spoke, his voice was barely a whisper, like the breeze moving past the leaves.

„I'd waited… Waited the next day and the day after. Then I was growing… worried… Worried that they did something to the one person who promised to come back…"

His voice died in his throat, and I felt a pang of guilt.

„Never thought you'd do that…"

Was that my voice? That hoarse whisper? That admission of weakness? Fuck it. If there was ever a time to cast that academic shit away, it was now. Why not tell the truth before he drives that vicious-looking sword through my heart?

He turned back, hatred and anger lighting up his eyes to the point where they didn't seem to be burning, but blindingly shining like the sun… He opened his mouth to say something, but he never did. In the deafening silence my broken words seemed to echo.

„I'm sorry, kid. I'm so sorry."

For a moment, time seemed to freeze. My eyes took in his form and suddenly it seemed I can see everything, every tiny detail. The moonlight on his hair. The barely-there wrinkles on his leather outfit. The little pieces of dirt clinging to his boots.

For a moment I could tell the blue from the green in his eyes.

And I stepped close and put my arms around him. His whole body tensed, then melted into the embrace. Our lips met, cheeks pressed together, more like a part of the desperate attempt to be close, to end the years of pain and hate and sadness, than an actual kiss.

A moment to mend past and present, healing things that should've never been.

Then our lips started to move slowly, tasting, longing, hurting; and his lips tasted like poison, like sin, sweet, intoxicating, and I suddenly found myself wanting more.

I slid my tongue into the wet cavern of his mouth, and it was like tasting life itself, addictive, dangerous, half bliss and half pain. Strangely, my hands never wondered his body, they stayed holding him close as lips gently caressed lips and tongue slid against tongue, breaths melting souls into one, and bodies telling all the things that were left unspoken.

How long did it last? It felt like moments and hours at the same time, leather pressed to cloth, skin to skin, just tasting, just breathing, just _being_.

He was the one breaking our kisses, laying his head on my shoulder, eyes closed, the grip of his arms never weakening, and he was whispering small things in my ear softly through his tears, dulling my senses like a strange lullaby.

We slided down to the warm earth, leaning to the very same tree he was standing at before, and one of my hands found it's way to the silver veil of his hair, stroking to soothe and comfort… He was still a child, a child…

I felt tears stinging my eyes, but I held them back. I am a Turk, and Turks never cry. I tilted my head to the side and rested it on top of his, breathing in the heavy scent of soil and night, and his wonderful smell.

It was only then that the situation finally sunk in. Instead of doing my job I, Reno of the Turks sat under a tree, holding my enemy I was supposed to fight and kill if given the chance, and I felt the need to protect him instead. I felt the sickening taste of bitter laughter in my mouth, and reached out to wipe away the tears from that soft, pale skin.

„Reno?" His voice was weak and trembling, and I looked into his eyes once more, afraid, pleading, but he shook his head a little and forced out a smile.

„I hate you."

We both knew it wasn't what he was about to say, but it didn't matter. He laid his head back on my shoulder and I pressed my lips to his forehead. His skin was cold, it was his soul that was feverish, and I felt the same dread I felt when I first learned about Rufus going down with Geostigma.

There was just ain't no cure for that fever that was going to burn him up.


	3. Fallen

**Disclaimer:** If I owned FF7, it would be rated 18+. Since it's not, you can have two guesses. Yeah, that's right! I don't own. Plus I don't own the song "Beyond Redemption" by HIM, though I wish I did.

**Warning:** Angst, character death, and non-graphic M/M smexing ahead! Don't like, don't read.

* * *

„Feel it turning your heart into stone  
Feel it piercing your courageous soul  
Beyond now - redemption  
No one's gonna catch you when you fall…"

I've watched him as he fell from the 13th floor of the Tower, and something gripped at my heart, a cold, unknown feeling that shouldn't have been there.

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, his head on my shoulder, my arms around him; momentary peace in the raging madness. How could he captivate me so? This child, this enemy?_

I've watched him as he fell, a bitter lump in my throat, and I closed my eyes not to see it any longer. But still, I knew it was bound to happen, it was only a matter of time. Corrupted angels always fall, don't they?

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, his hand seaking out my hand, fingers entwined with fingers… His hand was soft and small, it's warmth barely seeping through the cool of the leather. I asked him to take the gloves off…_

I've watched him as he landed safely on the ground, pressing the box to his chest as if it was something fragile and precious, as if it meant more than…

I gritted my teeth to stop this train of thought. It was a fight. A fight for our world, our lives, and we couldn't afford to lose. Rufus signalled to us and I nodded, motioning Rude to get into the chopper.

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, and he was crying once again, his tears quietly falling from endless emerald depths. His voice was a faint whisper, like the touch of light breeze on the surface of water. He was so afraid… _

I've watched him with awe as he raced his way through the highway with Cloud and the others following closely. Considering he was unable to use both hands, he was doing remarkably.

But I had to take off and do my job. I had to. The only thing that brought relief was that I wasn't given the task to face him. It was the other two we were after.

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, and I was kissing him once again, and it felt so wrong, and yet it felt so right. I kissed away his tears, his sweet, salty tears that left the bitter taste of mako on my tongue. He buried his face in the crook of my neck, hating himself for his weakness and me for witnessing it…_

I've watched him disappear amongst the ruins of the old church, knowing that Cloud will find him there. And this time I wasn't so sure about his victory…

We were heading back to the Tower to pick up the others, and once more, something in my chest felt heavy as the black chopper was taking me away from him yet again…

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, and I told him about free will and freedom, but he didn't understand it. Like a blind man can never understand the colors, he couldn't understand the things he never knew._

_He asked me if I was angry with him. I felt my chest constricting painfully, and I just shook my head smiling, placing a light kiss on his forehead. _

_He never noticed the single teardrop falling on his silver hair._

I've watched him as he fell, holding the box with Jenova's head to his chest, fusing his body with the tainted, poisonous cells. I've watched him lose himself, giving in to hatred and fear, pain and loneliness. Finally, he succumbed to the darkness that had been eating at his soul like a candle is consumed by the flames…

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, counting time by our pained heartbeats. For once in my life I didn't know what to say. I so desperately wanted to comfort him, but the inevitable fall that awaited him lurked around us in the damp silence of the forest…_

_He was so afraid of dieing, and all I could do was to shield him from the ravenous darkness with my thin arms…_

I've watched him fall for the last time. His Angel, his Goddess… They all abandoned him, left him at the mercy of his enemies, battered, broken… I've watched his life seeping away into what Avalanche said was the Lifestream, but was nothingness to me…

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, tears melting into kisses and hands sliding through silky strands of hair, bodies pressed together and slender fingers playing melodies of affection on them…_

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, past and future forgotten in the intent search for closeness and hope. Tongues dancing, warm breath caressing and hips stroking hips in a haze of mind-numbing pleasure and desperate need…_

_We sat under the whitely glowing trees, numbing our hot, white extasy with slow, sweet kisses and small, feather-light touches… He was so beautiful, so beautiful in the moonlight…_

Rufus let a relieved little sigh escape his lips, Rude was silent as always. Tseng and Elena were quietly discussing the events. They were happy that the Nightmare was gone, and I suddenly wanted to scream at them.

Hadn't they seen it? Hadn't they understood?

Sephiroth still lived, lived to come back again; the only one that had fallen was the angelic child I now knew I loved…

* * *

**A/N:** This is not the end! I just can't leave them like that, now can I? There will be one more chapter, so stay tuned! Don't forget to review! 


	4. Assumption

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the bishies of FF7 and probably never will. sigh Also, I don't own the song "I'll be waiting" by Soluna

**Warning:** angst, tiny bit of violance, and m/m relationship

* * *

_„Every minute of every hour,  
You know I'll be waiting for you…"_

It's been two and a half years since Sephiroth's return. Two and a half years of rebuilding and remembering. Remembering things that were and sacrifices that were made, and with that knowledge we were working hard to restore our world to its former, familiar state. 

Of course there were people who believed that it was time to change things, to create something new from the destruction. Which is exactly what led to this situation. Namely, me lying on the ground with two bullets in my chest. 

Fuck. I always knew I had little chance to live long enough to have a flashy office party and a nice time of peaceful retirement with a decent pension, but I never anticipated death to be so close. 

I felt my blood seeping through my fingers and the hot concrete burning my face. Funnily, the wounds didn't really hurt. Clearly I was in shock, I just couldn't decide if it was good or not. 

My thoughts were slipping away from me, and I felt too tired to chase hazy images and faint whispers. Actually, it felt quite nice to be just lying there. 

If I could gather just a little more strenght, then I surely would've been able to get back to the chopper or get help somehow. I only needed a little more rest… Yeah, that's right… just… a little more… 

When I opened my eyes again, the world shattered into a billion pieces of vivid colors and strange shadows. I tried blinking a few times, but it only made the colors swirl and my head ache. 

I tried to move, but I couldn't decide if I managed or not before I felt a strong hand on my back. I flinched, and my breath was caught by the sudden pain cutting through me. 

I thought I heard someone calling my name from far away, and the voice seemed oddly familiar, but I just couldn't place it. Everything was hazy and my head hurt… 

„…Reno!" 

Suddenly I felt a smack on my cheek, it left a tingling sensation in its wake. Did someone just hit me? Curse the damn bastard to every level of hell! Even_ I_ know that it's rude to hit a guy who is already on the ground! 

And there was that insistent voice again, that commanding tone I was sure I'd heard before… 

„…Reno, don't you dare pass out!" 

What the…? Wait! Tseng? 

I tried to focus on his voice, relief washing through me like a giant tidal wave. Tseng was here. Here to take care of everything. To make everything all right. 

He was speaking to me, but I just couldn't make out the words anymore, his voice was growing quieter and quieter, until it disappeared in the distance… 

Everything turned dark, and I started sinking. 

oO§Oo 

Everything was white, and I had to blink a few times to see better. Well, it's not like there was anything to see. Just the strange, endless whiteness. 

I was just about to clear my throat and ask if anybody was there in that goddamned… thing, surrounding me like thick mist, when I heard faint laughter, the sound flowing through the air like a lively crystal clear stream. 

„Huh, anybody there?" I asked a bit hesitantly, unable to see anyone. Perhaps I was just imagining things. Because clearly, there was no one around. 

„So you did come after all." The voice came again, gentle, quiet with a teasing undertone to it, and I involuntarily shruddered. 

That voice… 

And there he was, emerging from the whiteness like sunlight shining through the clouds. There was no mistaking that perfect face, the silver hair and the cat-like mako eyes. 

Kadaj. 

I instinctly stepped back. 

„You… you died!" I managed to choke out, and he chuckled again, the velvet sound sincere and soothing. 

„Oh, yes." He gave me his usual little smirk, and my heart skipped a beat. This one small, familiar gesture brought back a whirlpool of memories, and I couldn't help but stare at him, my eyes drinking in his beauty and splendour. 

He hadn't changed at all. He was still breathtaking, captivating, radiant. 

Then realisation hit me, and it hit me hard. 

„If you are here, that means I'm dead, right?" I gulped. I didn't want it to be true. While waiting for his answer, I was silently praying to all known deities that I was just high on mako and drugs, lieing in a bed somewhere in the Medical Departement and making a fool out of myself by talking nonsense in my sleep. 

He smiled at me, a soft, tender expression that was so alien to his face. It was the expression of the sweet child I knew he once was, and I quickly decided I could get used to it in no time. 

He stepped close, putting his arms around my neck, nuzzling my cheek. He placed light kisses on my jaw, trailing a path to my mouth. 

My hands were suddenly pulling him closer, holding him tightly as if I were holding on to him for dear life. In a heartbeat we were kissing ardently, my lips devouring his with destructive need and hunger, bruising and burning. 

I kissed him until we had no more air left and broke away panting, his heavenly taste still lingering in my mouth. 

„I've been waiting so long for this." He breathed, his lips swollen and enticingly wet. 

„Is that a yes?" I panted in his ear, kissing his temple. Dead or not, it was a wonder to have him in my arms again. 

His grip strenghtened painfully on my shoulder, and he let out a sad sigh. 

„Not yet." He buried his face in my neck, then suddenly looked up into my eyes. 

„Don't forget me. I'll be waiting…" 

Once more, his eyes were blazing like the sun… Only this time with a different fire to them, a fire that heated but didn't burn... 

His right hand moved to rake over the long strands of my hair that escaped the hair tie while we were kissing. I took it into my own and brought it to my face, leaning into the touch and pushing my lips to his palm. 

For a moment his fingers caressed my skin, then he pulled me in for another bruising kiss. But before he pulled away, he bit my lower lip so hard it started bleeding. I hissed and he pushed me away with surprising strength. 

His lithe form started to fade away, as he only stood watching with pained eyes as I was sinking again, away from the opaque whiteness and away from him… 

„They are waiting, Reno…" 

I desperately tried to reach him, but I found myself sitting up with a cry in a white bed. It took me a few moments to take in the IV, the tubes and machines to realise I was in the Med. The door opened, and I was happy and relieved to see it was Tseng, even if my eyes were still confusedly searching for someone else. 

Could it be that it was only a dream? An effect of the drugs or my wishful thinking? On the other hand, could it be real? Could it? There was nothing after the last heartbeat, was there? 

Tseng stepped closer, his voice betraying concern as he spoke. 

„We've heard your voice. Is everything all right, Reno?" 

„Gee, Tseng, don't tell me I managed to melt that icy heart of yours…" I grinned, then hissed as I felt the pain, snapping my fingers at my lips and staring with delighted disbelief at the fresh blood on my fingertips. 


End file.
